147.4
Wandering the halls of my own home. Going through the motions of life. Stuck. In an endless cycle of the same old routine. I just feel a bit empty.
I think it's safe to say by now, that the internship is out the window. I was kind of looking forward to the idea of a change in scenery. I just can't help feeling so stuck here. Feels like I've been walking through a dream these past couple weeks. It could be that I've cut way back on my caffeine consumption. So, I'm just feeling incessantly tired, but I can't seem to get a deep enough sleep to help.. It's really frustrating.
I have two days left in this term, and then I'll start work full time over the summer. More meaningless hours to waste away in front of a computer. Time seems to be moving so slowly in my life, like I'm hanging in limbo waiting for something to happen. I'm not even sure what I'm waiting for. Also frustrating. I keep trying desperately to clear my head and find focus, but I'm struggling to figure out what to focus on. Weight loss? I can't seem to bring myself to the focus I had in November. That's when I started my extreme dieting. Now, I'm lacking that drive, and eating "right" is more habitual and less strict as the cravings and mindless eating have been taking over a bit more. In January, I built a motivation to train for the sake of becoming a badass. Even that's dwindled, but I've managed to revive it enough to keep me going to the gym somewhat regularly.
I don't know. Perhaps, I'm just in a large bump of "bad days" and I just need to wade through them. It's making my final projects a pain to finish... or even think about finishing. It's just all seeming so irrelevant. I hope I can kick myself out of this rut soon, though. The Color Run is less than two weeks away, and I don't want my first 5k to be blown away in a wisp of memory.
In other news, I've found a new, interesting show hosted by Anna Richardson from Supersize vs Superskinny (Another great show, btw) called Secret Eaters. It's good for some reverse thinspo, and has some nice tips about eating. Check it out.
Stay Strong!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Faultering and New Favorite Recipe
W: 149.0
Lol, yeah... Since Acen about a week ago I've let myself go a bit. Eating too much and I haven't gone to the gym in more than two weeks (I went running one day last week, but I'm not sure it counts..) I don't think it helps that I actively decided to have a binge day last week as a means to hopefully clear my head so I can actually finish my late homework assignments to get at least some credit, and I haven't recovered. It's the end of the Spring quarter and as always it's hard to believe I'm still in school when everyone else is already out! The end is so close I can almost taste it! I'm so ready for summer break..
Btw, although I didn't get a rejection letter, I'm pretty sure the Internship fell through. I checked through my emails and realized I never received a confirmation letter for my online application... oops. Well, that's okay. Now, I get to go to the mountains and chill with family for a week, go to Six Flags, the Ren Fair, etc, etc, etc. Yay! Speaking of, I'm thinking of making yet another Ren Fair dress. This time, I want it to be super simple, easy-breezy, and comfortable! But, also to go with my new corset. <3
Oh, Right! I got an actual Steel Boned Corset at Acen that I'll be using for waist training. I'm not going super extreme like some ladies, but a little cinching would be nice, I think. If nothing else, it looks super hot over clothes, lol. I'll have to wait til next week to start training, though. TOM just decided to visit (finally), and now I'm all bloated and can't even get it closed, lol, rats! I mean, I know it fits. The guy put it on me at Acen while I was still wearing my Lolita dress, and I tried it on again last week. So I know I can get into it. I'm just super bloated.
So, my eating plan for the day, and hopefully for the rest of the week and/or life, is pretty simple.
Breakfast: 2 eggs and 1/4 a cup of oatmeal
Snack: Half a yellow bell pepper
Lunch: 4 celery stalks, 1 carrot, and 2 cups of Spinach.
Snack: undecided... maybe nothing.
Dinner: Cheap and quick, homemade vegetable soup! (with Recipe!)
I'm kind of excited to share this recipe, it has saved my life a number of times and will definitely be my dinner of choice when I move out again.
It's really simple, all you need are two ingredients!
1 1/2 cups of Organic Vegetable or Chicken stock - 38cal
1 1/2 cups of a frozen vegetable blend - 38 ~ 60cal
How to Prepare: In a medium sauce pan, bring the stock to a boil. Add frozen vegetables and bring to a boil for about 2~3 minutes. Pour in serving bowl and let sit for about 1 minute. Enjoy! And don't burn yourself!
I prefer the low sodium stocks and I tend to use either Kirkland's Normandy-Style Vegetable Blend which is about 40cal per cup or Bird's Eye Normandy Blend Fresh Frozen Deluxe Vegetables which is 25cal per cup. I mean, super low calorie and it's really filling. Well, it fills me up anyways. Sometimes it's too much and I end up leaving some. Anywho, give it a try if you're interested. Let me know what you think!
Lol, yeah... Since Acen about a week ago I've let myself go a bit. Eating too much and I haven't gone to the gym in more than two weeks (I went running one day last week, but I'm not sure it counts..) I don't think it helps that I actively decided to have a binge day last week as a means to hopefully clear my head so I can actually finish my late homework assignments to get at least some credit, and I haven't recovered. It's the end of the Spring quarter and as always it's hard to believe I'm still in school when everyone else is already out! The end is so close I can almost taste it! I'm so ready for summer break..
Btw, although I didn't get a rejection letter, I'm pretty sure the Internship fell through. I checked through my emails and realized I never received a confirmation letter for my online application... oops. Well, that's okay. Now, I get to go to the mountains and chill with family for a week, go to Six Flags, the Ren Fair, etc, etc, etc. Yay! Speaking of, I'm thinking of making yet another Ren Fair dress. This time, I want it to be super simple, easy-breezy, and comfortable! But, also to go with my new corset. <3
Oh, Right! I got an actual Steel Boned Corset at Acen that I'll be using for waist training. I'm not going super extreme like some ladies, but a little cinching would be nice, I think. If nothing else, it looks super hot over clothes, lol. I'll have to wait til next week to start training, though. TOM just decided to visit (finally), and now I'm all bloated and can't even get it closed, lol, rats! I mean, I know it fits. The guy put it on me at Acen while I was still wearing my Lolita dress, and I tried it on again last week. So I know I can get into it. I'm just super bloated.
So, my eating plan for the day, and hopefully for the rest of the week and/or life, is pretty simple.
Breakfast: 2 eggs and 1/4 a cup of oatmeal
Snack: Half a yellow bell pepper
Lunch: 4 celery stalks, 1 carrot, and 2 cups of Spinach.
Snack: undecided... maybe nothing.
Dinner: Cheap and quick, homemade vegetable soup! (with Recipe!)
I'm kind of excited to share this recipe, it has saved my life a number of times and will definitely be my dinner of choice when I move out again.
It's really simple, all you need are two ingredients!
1 1/2 cups of Organic Vegetable or Chicken stock - 38cal
1 1/2 cups of a frozen vegetable blend - 38 ~ 60cal
How to Prepare: In a medium sauce pan, bring the stock to a boil. Add frozen vegetables and bring to a boil for about 2~3 minutes. Pour in serving bowl and let sit for about 1 minute. Enjoy! And don't burn yourself!
I prefer the low sodium stocks and I tend to use either Kirkland's Normandy-Style Vegetable Blend which is about 40cal per cup or Bird's Eye Normandy Blend Fresh Frozen Deluxe Vegetables which is 25cal per cup. I mean, super low calorie and it's really filling. Well, it fills me up anyways. Sometimes it's too much and I end up leaving some. Anywho, give it a try if you're interested. Let me know what you think!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Too Much Food and Summer plans
Weight: 145.2 (65.9kg)
It's interesting to note that I have a harder time not eating when I'm home, because my parents have so much food stocked in the house. No joke, we have a pantry, which is the size of a walk in closet, two Fridge/freezers, one in the kitchen and one in the garage, and a full size freezer in the basement... I mean, really? Do we really need that much food? It's only four people, and my mom doesn't eat that much to begin with. Just wait till my brother moves out by the end of the year. We'll have even more food to throw away, which is what often happens. So, I feel a lot of pressure to eat food for the sake of making sure it doesn't go bad instead of "me not eating enough" or something like that.
Otherwise, I feel it's pretty easy to not eat when I'm at school. I have little to no reserves lingering within my reach, and I've found that I'm never really that hungry in the first place. That could be because I'm constantly chugging caffeine, but it's nice that I can focus on things more important than food. Like my homework, my long-term portfolio, and my Bible study for the day. It's just nice.
I applied for an internship that would take place in California for the whole summer, and I'm very hopeful. I don't actually think I'll make the cut, but the idea that I'd travel across the country to live on my own or with a roommate, even for just the summer, is really exciting. I'd love to be in charge of my workout schedule, the food that's kept in the place, etc. It'd just be a nice reminder of what was taken from me and a good visual of what I can look forward to when I finally move out for real. If I don't get the internship I won't be that disappointed since I have other plans for the summer that I'd otherwise be missing, such as a family reunion, theme park trip with friends, the Color Run, the Mud Run, the Renaissance Faire, etc. So either way, I'm looking forward to a good summer.
It's interesting to note that I have a harder time not eating when I'm home, because my parents have so much food stocked in the house. No joke, we have a pantry, which is the size of a walk in closet, two Fridge/freezers, one in the kitchen and one in the garage, and a full size freezer in the basement... I mean, really? Do we really need that much food? It's only four people, and my mom doesn't eat that much to begin with. Just wait till my brother moves out by the end of the year. We'll have even more food to throw away, which is what often happens. So, I feel a lot of pressure to eat food for the sake of making sure it doesn't go bad instead of "me not eating enough" or something like that.
Otherwise, I feel it's pretty easy to not eat when I'm at school. I have little to no reserves lingering within my reach, and I've found that I'm never really that hungry in the first place. That could be because I'm constantly chugging caffeine, but it's nice that I can focus on things more important than food. Like my homework, my long-term portfolio, and my Bible study for the day. It's just nice.
I applied for an internship that would take place in California for the whole summer, and I'm very hopeful. I don't actually think I'll make the cut, but the idea that I'd travel across the country to live on my own or with a roommate, even for just the summer, is really exciting. I'd love to be in charge of my workout schedule, the food that's kept in the place, etc. It'd just be a nice reminder of what was taken from me and a good visual of what I can look forward to when I finally move out for real. If I don't get the internship I won't be that disappointed since I have other plans for the summer that I'd otherwise be missing, such as a family reunion, theme park trip with friends, the Color Run, the Mud Run, the Renaissance Faire, etc. So either way, I'm looking forward to a good summer.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Strange...
Weight: 145.2
.... Yeah, that's a bit scary that it's gone down so much within a couple of days. I kind of feel like it's not entirely true. I don't know how, I just don't think that's my real weight.. It'll go up tomorrow, this is just a fluke. I mean, okay, my diet has been really low lately, but I swear, it's un intentional. I'm just not hungry. When I do eat, I get full really quick. I don´t know! It's weird... I actually tried to eat more oatmeal for breakfast, and I couldn't finish it, because it was starting to make me feel sick from being so full. So.. I don't know.
In other news, I love sunglasses. It's finally nice enough and bright enough to wear them appropriately. And I love them for a number of reason, like they protect my eyes from the sun, allow me to see, look pretty stylin', but most of all I love them because I can watch people without seeming like a creeper. Lol, being an artist type, I love looking at people. I love examining the different curves and angles people's bodies make, how their clothes effect this shapes and line, and how well I can imagine what they're natural bodies look like (Not in a pervy way! I swear!). I guess Figure Drawing has tainted me, lol. I just find people fascinating, and I love that I can observe them all I want with sunglasses without making them feel uncomfortable. Because I really don't want to make people uncomfortable with my constant staring, but I just can't help myself.
NSV(non-scale victory) today! I bought a pair of pink jeans a little over a month ago that I intentionally bought a bit too small as "goal pants". I mean, I could get them on, but I was muffin topping and they were uncomfortable... Well, I'm wearing them to school today, and there's plenty of comfy room! Whoohoo! I mean, okay they're not baggy, yet (Thank goodness), but it's nice that I can finally wear them comfortably. To celebrate, I took a picture! yay!
Doesn't really look like I've lost much.. my thighs are still huge and my waist is still really thick, but progress is progress, and I shouldn't dismiss how far I've come.
I also wanted to share my means of recording my predicted weight loss, tracking my actual weight loss, and setting up daily goals.
.... Yeah, that's a bit scary that it's gone down so much within a couple of days. I kind of feel like it's not entirely true. I don't know how, I just don't think that's my real weight.. It'll go up tomorrow, this is just a fluke. I mean, okay, my diet has been really low lately, but I swear, it's un intentional. I'm just not hungry. When I do eat, I get full really quick. I don´t know! It's weird... I actually tried to eat more oatmeal for breakfast, and I couldn't finish it, because it was starting to make me feel sick from being so full. So.. I don't know.
In other news, I love sunglasses. It's finally nice enough and bright enough to wear them appropriately. And I love them for a number of reason, like they protect my eyes from the sun, allow me to see, look pretty stylin', but most of all I love them because I can watch people without seeming like a creeper. Lol, being an artist type, I love looking at people. I love examining the different curves and angles people's bodies make, how their clothes effect this shapes and line, and how well I can imagine what they're natural bodies look like (Not in a pervy way! I swear!). I guess Figure Drawing has tainted me, lol. I just find people fascinating, and I love that I can observe them all I want with sunglasses without making them feel uncomfortable. Because I really don't want to make people uncomfortable with my constant staring, but I just can't help myself.
NSV(non-scale victory) today! I bought a pair of pink jeans a little over a month ago that I intentionally bought a bit too small as "goal pants". I mean, I could get them on, but I was muffin topping and they were uncomfortable... Well, I'm wearing them to school today, and there's plenty of comfy room! Whoohoo! I mean, okay they're not baggy, yet (Thank goodness), but it's nice that I can finally wear them comfortably. To celebrate, I took a picture! yay!
Doesn't really look like I've lost much.. my thighs are still huge and my waist is still really thick, but progress is progress, and I shouldn't dismiss how far I've come.
I also wanted to share my means of recording my predicted weight loss, tracking my actual weight loss, and setting up daily goals.
I use Google Docs' Excel so I can view/update it on any computer as well as my phone. I'm trying to watch less TV, so I'm restricting my shows to the weekend only if I'm equal to or less than the weight I've predicted for my self by that time. My daily rewards are chapters from a comic book that I love. Lastly, my big, money spending reward (ex. fancy headphones) comes when I can stay under my GW until the day indicated. I think it's helpful as a reminder and a motivator to keep it up.
Hope all is well, Stay Strong!
Monday, May 6, 2013
New Regimen
Weight: 150.8
Well, I've officially launched my new training regimen for the up coming 5K I'm participating in. This training program will help me peak my performance for the race, I hope. It's pretty intense, but I think it'll do me a lot of good if I keep up with it. Its starts on Monday like so...
Mon: Run 3 miles (Focus on speed)
Tues: Rest
Wed: Heavy lifting
Thurs: Run 3 miles (Focus on speed)
Fri: Heavy lifting
Sat: Run 5 miles (Don't focus on speed or time)
Sun: Walk 60 minutes (Don't focus on speed or distance)
So, only two rest days (Sunday is technically a rest day), and I'll be doing 99% of the running/walking outside. It's finally warm enough in the morning to run outside. I love "Map My Run" app, it really helps me keep track of how I'm doing. I'm also glad that I can train outside 5-ish weeks before the race, cause it'll get me used to the difference in environment. Running outside is so much different from running on a tread, in that it's way harder but in a way more satisfying? I don't know, I love it. Lol.
Goodness know I'm going to need this, as you can see my weight hasn't shifted much. (Actually it went up a bit...) So, as incentive to do better about eating, which I haven't been doing well, I'll post my morning weight at the top of each post. I know it'll bounce around, but I have to see it, to remind myself how much I need this... And how damaging mistakes can be.
On another note, my lifting is getting better. I was squatting 90 lb on Friday! It was tough but exhilarating. Also, I measured myself (which I probably do too often) and although my waist hasn't moved, my hips went down! They're now 37.5 in! But I seriously need my waist to go down or I'm going to look like a plank, lol! Hopefully soon. I just need to stop eating one of my biggest vices... cheeeeeeese... I know how disgusting it is, but I just love it so much!
Other than that, I spent most of my weekend on homework and watching Supersize vs Superskinny for the millionth time. I don't know, there's just something addicting about that show, even though I've seen it to the point where I've practically memorized it.. It's just inspirational, I think. I don't know. I guess I'm just bizarre, lol.
I haven't been anywhere that I've been able to post Thinspo, so that's why there isn't any, but will post some next time, I hope. Lol.
Stay Strong!
Well, I've officially launched my new training regimen for the up coming 5K I'm participating in. This training program will help me peak my performance for the race, I hope. It's pretty intense, but I think it'll do me a lot of good if I keep up with it. Its starts on Monday like so...
Mon: Run 3 miles (Focus on speed)
Tues: Rest
Wed: Heavy lifting
Thurs: Run 3 miles (Focus on speed)
Fri: Heavy lifting
Sat: Run 5 miles (Don't focus on speed or time)
Sun: Walk 60 minutes (Don't focus on speed or distance)
So, only two rest days (Sunday is technically a rest day), and I'll be doing 99% of the running/walking outside. It's finally warm enough in the morning to run outside. I love "Map My Run" app, it really helps me keep track of how I'm doing. I'm also glad that I can train outside 5-ish weeks before the race, cause it'll get me used to the difference in environment. Running outside is so much different from running on a tread, in that it's way harder but in a way more satisfying? I don't know, I love it. Lol.
Goodness know I'm going to need this, as you can see my weight hasn't shifted much. (Actually it went up a bit...) So, as incentive to do better about eating, which I haven't been doing well, I'll post my morning weight at the top of each post. I know it'll bounce around, but I have to see it, to remind myself how much I need this... And how damaging mistakes can be.
On another note, my lifting is getting better. I was squatting 90 lb on Friday! It was tough but exhilarating. Also, I measured myself (which I probably do too often) and although my waist hasn't moved, my hips went down! They're now 37.5 in! But I seriously need my waist to go down or I'm going to look like a plank, lol! Hopefully soon. I just need to stop eating one of my biggest vices... cheeeeeeese... I know how disgusting it is, but I just love it so much!
Other than that, I spent most of my weekend on homework and watching Supersize vs Superskinny for the millionth time. I don't know, there's just something addicting about that show, even though I've seen it to the point where I've practically memorized it.. It's just inspirational, I think. I don't know. I guess I'm just bizarre, lol.
I haven't been anywhere that I've been able to post Thinspo, so that's why there isn't any, but will post some next time, I hope. Lol.
Stay Strong!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
A bit about me
I've been so lazy lately! lol, Did my lifting yesterday, but I totally didn't want to.. Then I slept through my run this morning... Bleeeeh!! But I'm down to 149 today! Yaaaay!! I wasn't expecting quite that much of a drop from rebooting this regimen of mine. I've been able to keep up with it so far, and no hunger pains yet. I found somewhere online that noted that my BMR is 1499, so I'm not surprised that I have to restrict so much to make any difference.
One of the food items that has been helping me are these smoothies I'm been making. I'm using a big hand full of spinach (10), a carrot (45), cup of frozen strawberries (50), and a cup of frozen blueberries (85) to make a 190cal smoothie. I believe it makes about 20oz. The fiber in the spinach helps make it filling and makes it last, although it's definitely an acquired taste. I guess I just have a knack for making myself acquire strange tastes, especially if they are healthy for me. Like Natto! I love Natto, but everyone else I know hates it. Lol. It's a Japanese super food, and even most Japanese people don't like. My mom says it looks like snot, but it's so goood! yum.
Anywho, I don't have much else to say other than, oh my goodness! It's so nice outside finally!! I want to go swimming! Or go shopping! Or to the park! Or something!! I wish I were out of school and had more friends.. ;_; A lot of my school friends are graduating in a couple months. and one of them is going to Japan for years and years!! Not even fair! Lol, we still need to give her a going away party/event/something before she leaves.
I guess I can talk a bit about myself now, heh. As you can probably tell, I'm very interested in Japan and Japanese culture. Not just anime, but everything about it. I've been there on a number of occasions and am learning the language, although I'm still not very good at it. I'd love to apply for the JET programme once I graduate, so I can go teach English in Japan. Heh, there's Thinspiration if ever there was any. It's bad enough that I'm taller than most Japanese people and I have bigger feet (Size 10! eww!! Like, no joke! The biggest size they have at 99% of their stores are a size 9... not even fair, lol!), so why should I be too fat for their clothing, too? I look forward to being able to shop at their stores and find nicely fitting clothing, because they have some cute stuff there.
I have more things I could talk about, but I'll save them for later posts. Stay Strong!
One of the food items that has been helping me are these smoothies I'm been making. I'm using a big hand full of spinach (10), a carrot (45), cup of frozen strawberries (50), and a cup of frozen blueberries (85) to make a 190cal smoothie. I believe it makes about 20oz. The fiber in the spinach helps make it filling and makes it last, although it's definitely an acquired taste. I guess I just have a knack for making myself acquire strange tastes, especially if they are healthy for me. Like Natto! I love Natto, but everyone else I know hates it. Lol. It's a Japanese super food, and even most Japanese people don't like. My mom says it looks like snot, but it's so goood! yum.
Anywho, I don't have much else to say other than, oh my goodness! It's so nice outside finally!! I want to go swimming! Or go shopping! Or to the park! Or something!! I wish I were out of school and had more friends.. ;_; A lot of my school friends are graduating in a couple months. and one of them is going to Japan for years and years!! Not even fair! Lol, we still need to give her a going away party/event/something before she leaves.
I guess I can talk a bit about myself now, heh. As you can probably tell, I'm very interested in Japan and Japanese culture. Not just anime, but everything about it. I've been there on a number of occasions and am learning the language, although I'm still not very good at it. I'd love to apply for the JET programme once I graduate, so I can go teach English in Japan. Heh, there's Thinspiration if ever there was any. It's bad enough that I'm taller than most Japanese people and I have bigger feet (Size 10! eww!! Like, no joke! The biggest size they have at 99% of their stores are a size 9... not even fair, lol!), so why should I be too fat for their clothing, too? I look forward to being able to shop at their stores and find nicely fitting clothing, because they have some cute stuff there.
I have more things I could talk about, but I'll save them for later posts. Stay Strong!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Ups and Downs
So, I'm pretty excited about happenings on Saturday. Yay! To tell you what the happenings were, I'll start by saying that I'm a bit confused about myself. I used to love McDonald's. My brother and I would always try to talk our mom into taking us there for our favorite burgers, fries and, of course, shakes. Then in High School I worked at McDonald's. After I quite, I was so sick of the stuff it took me years to try it again... now I have this weird thing, where the smell of McDonald's and eating it makes me sick, but I still want to eat it... Wait, what? How does that even make sense?
Well, Okay, back to Saturday. So, I went to meet a friend at McDonald's, because they have the best WiFi that we could find, and I managed to go the whole time without eating a single thing! When we got food, he got a full meal and I opted for a fountain drink. Diet, of course. He got one of my nostalgic favorites, but I managed to stay my hand and say no thank you. Victory!
I've been retraining the way I think about food and ways to combat cravings with my mind, and I think this is a good sign that it's actually working. What I do is, when I see something that I think I want, example donuts, then naturally I'll think about the donut a lot and how good it'd taste, etc. When those cravings start, I remember my goals and then I continue to think about the donut, but this time, when I bite into it in my mind I'll imagine that there are stringy hair trimmings in the center that I just bit into. I think about the texture and the thought that I have someone's hair in my mouth and I have a mild gag reflex. Sometimes it's hair, other times it's worms, or larva. Either way, the craving instantly disappears and I can walk away and distract myself before the craving tries to resurface. It makes fighting cravings so much easier, and eventually it becomes natural to not even want those things anymore. I've trained my mind this way before, but alas, tumblr helped me slip back into old habits, and I started using this technique less, so now I'm trying to use it again, and I'm pleased with the results!
I ran outside again on Saturday, and I did so much better. I mean, it was still exhausting, and I need some better/different running music, but it felt good, and I was able to keep up with my PR. So that was really nice.
EDIT: So, lol, wow. I named it "Ups and Downs" with the intention of talking about how bad my day was Sunday, but I forgot. So here's a tiny rundown.
I work the Tech booth at my church, so I was late, because I forgot I was scheduled to work that day, so no breakfast, no problem, right? haha, yeah, no. I ate fruit snacks (which I love) and a fair amount of oatmeal, which wasn't terrible, but then we went out to eat for lunch at a breakfast place, and I got Eggs Benedict with Hash browns and scarfed down the whole plate. I think it tasted good, but I ate it too fast to remember and I literally stuffed myself to beyond full which made me feel a bit sick afterwards... oops.
Then I was working on a paper that took me way longer than I think it should have, and I snacked on Reese's cups into the late night, which meant I skipped my Monday morning run to sleep in. bleh. I need to remember to eat a proper healthy breakfast.. it really helps prevent me from falling into a mindless eating frenzy.
Well, Okay, back to Saturday. So, I went to meet a friend at McDonald's, because they have the best WiFi that we could find, and I managed to go the whole time without eating a single thing! When we got food, he got a full meal and I opted for a fountain drink. Diet, of course. He got one of my nostalgic favorites, but I managed to stay my hand and say no thank you. Victory!
I've been retraining the way I think about food and ways to combat cravings with my mind, and I think this is a good sign that it's actually working. What I do is, when I see something that I think I want, example donuts, then naturally I'll think about the donut a lot and how good it'd taste, etc. When those cravings start, I remember my goals and then I continue to think about the donut, but this time, when I bite into it in my mind I'll imagine that there are stringy hair trimmings in the center that I just bit into. I think about the texture and the thought that I have someone's hair in my mouth and I have a mild gag reflex. Sometimes it's hair, other times it's worms, or larva. Either way, the craving instantly disappears and I can walk away and distract myself before the craving tries to resurface. It makes fighting cravings so much easier, and eventually it becomes natural to not even want those things anymore. I've trained my mind this way before, but alas, tumblr helped me slip back into old habits, and I started using this technique less, so now I'm trying to use it again, and I'm pleased with the results!
I ran outside again on Saturday, and I did so much better. I mean, it was still exhausting, and I need some better/different running music, but it felt good, and I was able to keep up with my PR. So that was really nice.
EDIT: So, lol, wow. I named it "Ups and Downs" with the intention of talking about how bad my day was Sunday, but I forgot. So here's a tiny rundown.
I work the Tech booth at my church, so I was late, because I forgot I was scheduled to work that day, so no breakfast, no problem, right? haha, yeah, no. I ate fruit snacks (which I love) and a fair amount of oatmeal, which wasn't terrible, but then we went out to eat for lunch at a breakfast place, and I got Eggs Benedict with Hash browns and scarfed down the whole plate. I think it tasted good, but I ate it too fast to remember and I literally stuffed myself to beyond full which made me feel a bit sick afterwards... oops.
Then I was working on a paper that took me way longer than I think it should have, and I snacked on Reese's cups into the late night, which meant I skipped my Monday morning run to sleep in. bleh. I need to remember to eat a proper healthy breakfast.. it really helps prevent me from falling into a mindless eating frenzy.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Weight Loss Plan
Hello,
So, I'm going talk about how I've been doing and how I plan to carry out this weight losing thing, lol. Daily motivations, meal plans, workout routines, etc. So, here we go!
Well, to start I'll talk about my food and exercise plan:
For food, I try to keep it 90% clean. So, I mostly just eat straight, raw fruit and veggies. I'll usually eat them separately instead of in a salad, just because I think it's easier. I don't eat a whole lot of meat, except eggs in the morning. I use almonds and beans as my main source for protein. I'm going to try and keep my overall food intake aimed for ~800cal, and I will absolutely not go over 1000cal.
Back in December/January, I decided I wanted to start training for marathons. There's this 5k that happens in the summer that I've always wanted to participate in. It's call the Color Run, and I'm finally training to run in it! I'm super excited! My best mile is 8mins 40secs, and I can run 3miles in ~28 mins. I know I can improve my time before the race, but I'm kind of proud for being able to accomplish this so far. Back in high school, my best mile was ~15mins! I was horrible and very overweight! I'm so glad I decided to improve myself.
So yeah, I run 2~3 days a week and lift 2 days a week. I'm currently doing the Stronglifts 5x5 program. And I know what you're thinking... "Heavy weights and fewer reps? Won't that make you bulky and manly??" No. No it won't. I've done my research. It'll only make me "bulky" if I take Steroids and other crazy meds. I've seen natural girls lift heavy and look super hot. Besides, when you're resting, muscle burn more calories than fat, so I'll get to my goal faster. And even if I do start looking too "bulky", I can just 'lax up on the weights and still reap the benefits. Easy. c=
Motivations? Basic Thinspo. I'll add a few to the end of this post. I also "like" reverse thinspo... They help me get rid of cravings. Reading other blogs is also helpful, to see how successful others are doing, and dreaming about how my success will look. It's makes it seem much more attainable. I also have this "Projected Weight Loss" spreadsheet that I made, to predict when I'll reach certain weights. I don't know, I like being organized like that, I guess, heheh! If I can, I'll post it sometime to show you how it works. It's really nice, though, and helps keep me motivated. I have a bunch of little tricks that I use to help stave off hunger pangs or distract me from cravings. I'll have to compile them and share later.
I've been doing okay. It's been a while since I've restricted like this, so it's been pretty difficult. I didn't do great yesterday, and I went out to lunch with my parents today, so that was kind of a bust, but I've still lost. So that's awesome! I'm done to 150 lb as of this morning. =D I'm pretty sure it's just water weight, but I started my period two days ago, so who knows? I'm expecting better/lasting numbers soon! ^_^
I've been working out, but I had a horrible run yesterday. It was abysmal!! I couldn't run worth crap, but I think that also had to do with my period. I can't wait to get over it so I can get back to my real running. I didn't get to the gym this morning, so I'm planning to run to the gym (~1.6 miles), lift weights, and run home. It's beautiful out, so I'm really looking forward to it!
Well, I'm writing too much, so I'll let you go. Stay Strong!
So, I'm going talk about how I've been doing and how I plan to carry out this weight losing thing, lol. Daily motivations, meal plans, workout routines, etc. So, here we go!
Well, to start I'll talk about my food and exercise plan:
For food, I try to keep it 90% clean. So, I mostly just eat straight, raw fruit and veggies. I'll usually eat them separately instead of in a salad, just because I think it's easier. I don't eat a whole lot of meat, except eggs in the morning. I use almonds and beans as my main source for protein. I'm going to try and keep my overall food intake aimed for ~800cal, and I will absolutely not go over 1000cal.
Back in December/January, I decided I wanted to start training for marathons. There's this 5k that happens in the summer that I've always wanted to participate in. It's call the Color Run, and I'm finally training to run in it! I'm super excited! My best mile is 8mins 40secs, and I can run 3miles in ~28 mins. I know I can improve my time before the race, but I'm kind of proud for being able to accomplish this so far. Back in high school, my best mile was ~15mins! I was horrible and very overweight! I'm so glad I decided to improve myself.
So yeah, I run 2~3 days a week and lift 2 days a week. I'm currently doing the Stronglifts 5x5 program. And I know what you're thinking... "Heavy weights and fewer reps? Won't that make you bulky and manly??" No. No it won't. I've done my research. It'll only make me "bulky" if I take Steroids and other crazy meds. I've seen natural girls lift heavy and look super hot. Besides, when you're resting, muscle burn more calories than fat, so I'll get to my goal faster. And even if I do start looking too "bulky", I can just 'lax up on the weights and still reap the benefits. Easy. c=
Motivations? Basic Thinspo. I'll add a few to the end of this post. I also "like" reverse thinspo... They help me get rid of cravings. Reading other blogs is also helpful, to see how successful others are doing, and dreaming about how my success will look. It's makes it seem much more attainable. I also have this "Projected Weight Loss" spreadsheet that I made, to predict when I'll reach certain weights. I don't know, I like being organized like that, I guess, heheh! If I can, I'll post it sometime to show you how it works. It's really nice, though, and helps keep me motivated. I have a bunch of little tricks that I use to help stave off hunger pangs or distract me from cravings. I'll have to compile them and share later.
I've been doing okay. It's been a while since I've restricted like this, so it's been pretty difficult. I didn't do great yesterday, and I went out to lunch with my parents today, so that was kind of a bust, but I've still lost. So that's awesome! I'm done to 150 lb as of this morning. =D I'm pretty sure it's just water weight, but I started my period two days ago, so who knows? I'm expecting better/lasting numbers soon! ^_^
I've been working out, but I had a horrible run yesterday. It was abysmal!! I couldn't run worth crap, but I think that also had to do with my period. I can't wait to get over it so I can get back to my real running. I didn't get to the gym this morning, so I'm planning to run to the gym (~1.6 miles), lift weights, and run home. It's beautiful out, so I'm really looking forward to it!
Well, I'm writing too much, so I'll let you go. Stay Strong!
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
State your name and occupation!
Hello to all,
Well, I suppose it would only be fitting to introduce myself to the thousands upon thousands of people that will NOT be following me. Lol! Even though gaining followers, comments, Internet fame, etc, is not the point or purpose of this blog, I suppose I should talk a bit about myself and my love/hate relationship with weight and body image.
Well to start, like a lot of bloggers I follow, I've been stalking people long before finally deciding to jump in the water. It's just that, the more blogs I read the more it seems to make sense to get some of these thoughts out of my head, sending them out into the void. I think it'll help. Err, I hope it'll help.
Okay, so basically I've been on a constant weight related roller coaster for years now. Since 16-17ish. I suppose I'm changing my methods based how successful it seems to be for others... Although not necessarily healthy, I've been working to adapt some tips and tricks to my life in a... "healthy" way? I'm not starving myself or fasting, but I am restricting more than I others think I should. But I don't care, this is the best progress I've ever made, so I'm going to stick with it. I do want to note that although I'm not "Pro-Ana" I'm not here to judge people.
I probably won't be noting my daily intake all the time since I already record it elsewhere, but I can post what an average day would be like on occasion, and I like Thinspo so I'll post some of that occasionally as well. I exercise about 5 times a week, running and heavy lifting. I was doing Yoga, which was nice, but I don't think I like it as much as I want to like it, lol. A friend of mine from small group is into recreational sports and asked if I wanted to join her soccer friends for a kick about, so I think I'll try that for Sunday afternoons. It sounds like it could be fun, so I'm excited.
I will admit that back in December I got on tumblr to try "blogging" my weight loss journey and discovered the Fitblr community. I loved the motivation and energy that came from it and was greatly influenced by the mantra that said "Everything (even bad food) in moderation is the key to losing weight", and "Eat more, weigh less". Which seems to work for a lot of people, but for me it lead to constant bingeing and too often I was reasoning that is was okay for me to eat all the chocolates, pastries, take aways, etc that I wanted. As a result I have made 0 progress. No weight loss, no inch loss, no better fitting clothes, etc for 3 MONTHS!! I've been beyond frustrated for the last month and decide that the Fitblrs weren't doing me any favors. Other people may be able to eat more, but I guess I can't. That's based on personal observation of actually trying.... Now, I don't really want to use my tumblr for the weight loss methods I need, because the Fitblrs seem pretty unforgiving... Besides, I think a new blogging environment will help keep me motivated.
Sorry for the rant, back to more important things. I'm a part time student and work part time at a desk job. I live with my parents still, and don't really have that much money to buy my own food, but I do what I can.
I suppose these will be my starting stats:
Age: 24
Height: 5'7" (170cm)
Height: 5'7" (170cm)
Weight:
HW: 174 lb
SW: 167 lb
CW: 152 lb
SW: 167 lb
CW: 152 lb
GW1: 140 lb
GW2: 130 lb
UGW: 120 lb
GW2: 130 lb
UGW: 120 lb
Measurements:
Arms: 10.5/10.5 in
Thighs: 23.5/24 in
Bust: 38 in
Waist: 29 in (on a good day)
Hips: 39 in
And finally a "before and during" picture that I made a couple months ago, but because I basically haven't changed since January I think it still applies.
Nice to meet you all, and I hope all is well with you.
Jack~
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